Lifestyle

Here’s another reflection from sabbatical: When something becomes a lifestyle, you don’t stop thinking that way when you’re not doing that thing.  It becomes the way you think in all things.  Here’s what I mean.  Back in a previous life, my crew and I used to paddle open boats (canoes, as opposed to “decked” boats like kayaks - or worse, rubber boats like rafts) on whitewater.  I was class III competent, class IV challenged.  In class III, especially in an open boat, you really should know what you’re doing; in class IV, you had better have some pretty serious skills.  A couple of things whitewater teaches you: 1. Your ego will get you hurt or worse.  You have to be completely honest with yourself about what you can handle and what you can’t.  If you can’t, then portage around the rapid and live to paddle another day.  (The rule was “If you can’t spit, don’t run it!”)  2. No matter what happens, never stop thinking, meaning don’t freeze up if you find yourself heading somewhere you’d rather not be.  Just use your skills and experience to maneuver into a better position and trust the people you’re paddling with.  Once that becomes the norm of your thought process, it generalizes even when you’re off the river.  I’m absolutely sure that’s what kept me out of a wreck when I was about to be sandwiched by two people coming in opposite directions with me between them.  I put my vehicle in the only one-inch margin of error there was between the two and we were all able to drive away unscathed.

That’s the way of it for a life of faith.  It’s like the Lenten disciplines that aren’t only for that short period of time between the end of Epiphany and the beginning of the Easter season.  Ideally, you shouldn’t focus on the Lenten disciplines - self-examination and repentance; prayer, fasting, self-denial; reading and meditating on God’s holy word - only during Lent, like “I’ll do Bible study (or not have martinis) for four weeks or so, but then I’m off the hook for the rest of the year.”  They should be the way of deepening your faith that lasts through the whole year so that whatever it is - deepening faith, compassion, self-giving, grace - becomes a lifestyle, the way you think and pray and act whether it’s Lent or not. 

We have quite a while before Lent begins again (March 5, 2025), but that gives us a lot of time for self-examination, i.e. to be completely honest with ourselves about the degree that faith plays in our actual day-to-day life in work, family, and community, and not just on Sundays.  And if we find ourselves heading somewhere we’d rather not be, rather than letting that taunting voice of doubt keep us frozen in a rut, we can use our skills and experience to maneuver into a better position (i.e. repentance) and trust the people with whom we are all paddling along when the class level gets challenging.  Then it becomes a matter of lifestyle, not just when we’re in church mode, but in all things.
 
- Marc Vance

Beloved Community

Dear friends,

In my late 20s, I joined a parish in Greenfield, Massachusetts.  After arriving, I asked a priest if they had a young adult group, and she said, “No; but you could start one.”  (Clever priest!)  So I sent out a survey:  What ages do you think should be included?  Single folks only or couples, or families with children?  Should our activities be outreach, fellowship, or Bible study? 

To my amusement, when the results came back, people wanted everything.  So I ended up starting The Get-Togethers, a group for folks of all ages that cycled through different kinds of activities so that everyone could participate in whatever most interested them.

Only one survey-taker indicated an interest in Bible study—a young mom a few years older than I was.  We decided to tackle the book of James together.  Every week Lisa would climb the steps to my second-floor apartment with a baby basket in one hand and a Bible in the other.

Since that study, I have always loved the book of James, and I greatly enjoyed our foray through it in September.  During the bishop’s visit we heard James 5:13-20, which begins, Are any among you suffering?  They should pray.  Are any cheerful?  They should sing songs of praise…  James gives practical instruction to the Christian community, telling them how members are to care for one another:  praying for the suffering, rejoicing with the cheerful, anointing the sick, confessing their sins to one another, and forgiving each other.

I thought about this passage while attending a recent diocesan event called Gathering on Sacred Ground.  The conference was offered to help participants think about next steps on the journey of Becoming Beloved Community, our work together to respond to racial injustice.  The keynote speaker, author Canon Stephanie Spellers from the Presiding Bishop’s office, gave a description of beloved community that I want to hang onto:

Beloved Community:

The community where your suffering pains me,

your hope becomes my hope,

and your flourishing makes my heart sing.

The community where I am willing to take risks

and to give up some preference or comfort,

if it means we will all finally become whole.

I think Beloved Community was what James had in mind for the church.  More importantly, I think it’s what Jesus has in mind for the church.  I look forward to continuing our work together to become Beloved Community here at St. Andrew’s and beyond our doors, and I am so grateful that I get to participate in this crucial practice with each of you.

- Blessings.  -Anne

Stewardship

One retired minister offered a stewardship perspective in this way, “The question is not, how much of what is mine do I give to others? The question is, how much of what is God’s do I reserve for myself? The answer we give is a faith issue, a stewardship issue.”

My family believes that God calls us to be stewards of His abundance, and I see it as an opportunity. Shouldn’t we be giving God back some of the time, talents, and treasures He has given us in a spirit of joy? Just as we pay for the foundation in which we live (our home), as well as its “supporting characters” (electric, water, sewage, etc.) that combine to make our house a warm, inviting place, we believe that our pledge to St. Andrew’s supports our church foundation (a 100-year-old building needs a lot of care) and its many, many other supporting characters (overhead, staff, mission, outreach, community), with every belief that the time, talents, and treasures we all bring to the table help ensure St. A’s is seen as a warm, inviting house of worship. 

A quote attributed to Aristotle, “the whole is greater than the sum of its parts” comes to mind here, and I contend that when each of us pledges, we are (1) honoring God’s call for us to be caretakers of all He has entrusted to us and, (2) Although two of the four specific goals for next year’s pledges may first appear miles apart, I feel that maintaining our beautiful, historically rich building and expanding our children’s ministry work hand-in-hand; we want our children to see St. Andrew’s as a safe haven, not just a place to learn about, and serve, a loving and gracious God, but also a SAFE building in every sense of the word.  

We have always faithfully honored our annual pledge, even if that pledge only covers a week of salaries, or necessary maintenance and upkeep repairs that are not “exciting” (like when we must pay a plumber on the weekend—hardly exciting, but necessary). We see St. Andrew’s as our “church home,” and its parishioners become extended family members. When all of us “family members” pledge, it creates what Aristotle said--a combined effect of different elements, which are more valuable, or impactful, than the sum of each of our individual contributions.

It’s a nice thought for me that when I hear the proverb, “it takes a village,” perhaps our collective pledges are doing just that—providing a community of people to support each other, with emphasis on our youth, and ensuring a safe and healthy environment for them to grow in. With St. Andrew’s meeting its stewardship goal, it will be able to do just that, as well as invest in innovative technologies, strengthen our outreach ministries support, and take care of our Centenarian Building that holds so many memories—past, present, and future.

1 Peter 4:10 says, “Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.”  May we all see this time of stewardship as an opportunity to continue serving a generous and loving God.

- Debi Nicolai

Investing in God's Kingdom

I received my first set of offering envelopes, at the age of 13, during the yearlong confirmation class at Reid Memorial Presbyterian Church in Augusta, Ga. It was thrilling - and a little overwhelming - to be considered grown-up enough to play a part in the church’s overall mission. My banker father, who was serving as an Elder at the time, helped me calculate an accurate tithe based on the weekly allowance I received which was supplemented with periodic babysitting. That same year, singing in the choir, making Chrismons during Advent, visiting shut-ins, and participating in youth group events took on new meaning; I was beginning to understand the value of serving my faith community with my tithe, my time, and my talents.

  At St Andrew’s, Dan and I have found great joy in many ministries, but we are always most impacted by the opportunity to work with our youngest members. In a recent conversation on the playground, we asked the children what happens with the money in the collection plates.  “Charity”, replied Cliff. How wonderful! As we pondered this question together, other answers were shouted out: the playground equipment, the salaries of our priests and staff, the candles at the altar, the lights in the building, the goldfish and juice boxes for Chapel! 

One of our great challenges as Christians is to teach our children that as stewards of God’s church, we are each called to serve with our time, talents and resources. The annual pledge campaign is really a stewardship campaign, a perfect time to reflect on how we can invest in God’s kingdom right here in our community. 

-Karen Waddill

 

The Glories of a Parish Retreat

 

As I was jotting down ideas for this Net Cover focusing on our recent parish retreat, (40 of us at Chanco on the James from Sept 13-15!) I was caught off guard by flashes of memories of myself as a child, attending parish retreats with my own church family. I grew up in South Carolina, so most of those people I no longer see, and I certainly have not set foot at Camp Gravatt since about 1995. But the experiences I had there with my childhood church have undoubtedly shaped me into the person I am today.

 The first strike of deja vu came when we pulled up to our room at Chanco. My children have been to Chanco several times so they immediately jumped out of the car to survey the grounds and confirm that everything was as they left it, just like my friends and I did when we rolled up to our retreat center on Friday evening. I remember the sense of safety and empowerment that came from being able to traverse a place without adults knowing my every move. Whereas “home” in our everyday lives is defined by the property lines, at a retreat center, “home” is a state of mind. “Home” is with fellow parishioners who become extended family; “home” is the retreat center itself, which is owned by all of us and none of us at the same time. As the other children on the St. Andrew’s retreat became familiar with the grounds, they too, delighted in the freedom to move from place to place without fear of getting lost, needing to call ahead, or wait for adult supervision.

 Another special moment I’m stealing from a conversation with Joe Allen the Monday after the retreat. In the dining hall the retreat leaders displayed sign-up sheets where you could volunteer to lead an activity during free time. Joe’s favorite retreat moment was watching the children joyfully rush forward: Edward volunteered to lead a hike at 3:30. Madeline and Rachel scheduled time to collect seashells. Ralph started a poetry-writing group at 4:30. Shiloh and Abigail signed up to be worship leaders at Eucharist. Children saw themselves as leaders, not just participants, in the retreat. They felt safe to take creative risks and be themselves without hesitation.

 One last memory. If you’re familiar with Compline, you’ll know that the words, “Guide waking, O Lord, and guard us sleeping…” are sprinkled throughout the liturgy. When I heard these words Saturday night at Chanco I had a flashback to myself as a child, half-asleep in my dad’s lap, in the twilight after a long day with our church family. In the meals we shared at Chanco, in the nightly compline, there was a structure and a rhythm to life but without the rush. As a child I felt a sense of true peace knowing that, at least for those precious 36 hours, I was surrounded by people who were completely in the moment with me. I’m so grateful that the children on our Chanco retreat were given that gift of presence, too, which is so precious yet so rare.

 God is always calling us to let go of the barriers that separate us from truly knowing one another. On a parish retreat, we arrive as individuals and family units, but leave feeling like we are part of an extended family. We arrive feeling stressed but settle into a routine where busy-ness and productivity are no longer the measure of our worth. We arrive as adults or children, and watch in wonder as the adults become more child-like and the children take on adult roles with joy and confidence.

 In other words, on a parish retreat we get a small taste of what it’s like to live in God’s kingdom. It is God’s constant call to us to build God’s kingdom on earth, brick by brick. Going on retreat reminds us how real God truly is. Once you’ve experienced it, it’s hard not to share it with others. So…

 Chanco 2025, here we come!

- Ginny Chilton