Dear
Friends,
As
you may know, at this past summer’s General Convention, The Episcopal Church
passed a resolution allowing all rectors of Episcopal Churches to perform same
sex marriages. This means that every Episcopalian
now has the opportunity to be married in his or her home parish. As of Advent I, which is Sunday, December 2,
all clergy in Southern Virginia may use the trial rites for marriage –
including same-gender marriage - without permission from the office of the
Bishop.
As
has always been the case, parish clergy with primary authority (rector, priest
in charge, etc.) are free to decide for themselves whether or not to perform
any marriage – same-gender or otherwise. In other words, no clergy person in the
Episcopal Church is obliged to perform any particular marriage.
The
vestry and I have talked about same-sex marriage. My stance about same sex marriage is the same
as my stance about heterosexual marriage:
If a couple loves each other, loves God, and is actively involved in our
faith community (or, because of distance, in some other Christian community),
then it is my honor and privilege to bless their marriage. As a clergy person, I am not willing to
perform weddings for folks, straight or gay, who are not actively engaged in a
relationship with God that is being lived out in a community of faith. I have no interest in St. Andrew’s becoming a
“wedding chapel”—a pretty backdrop for any couple that is not serious about
grounding and nurturing their relationship in God.
I
know that, as in so many things, there is wide diversity of opinion at St.
Andrew’s about same sex marriage. As
I’ve said before, one of the great blessings of our faith community –and one of
the great gifts we have to offer to our increasingly polarized world—is the way
we at St. Andrew’s come together despite our differences to worship God and be
nourished at God’s table. A parishioner
whom I greatly love and admire and whose views on same sex marriage are
completely different from mine said to me, “I wouldn’t want to be part of a
church in which everyone has to believe that same sex marriage is okay.” Neither would I. I want to be part of a church in which we
recognize, honor, and respect the dignity of every human being—even and
especially those whose views are so different from our own.
As
we enter into this new season of life in our church, may we hold one another
and ourselves gently, trusting in God’s love and mercy. And let us hold in our prayers all couples
preparing for marriage. Make
their life together a sign of Christ's love to this sinful and broken
world, that unity may overcome estrangement, forgiveness heal guilt, and
joy conquer despair (BCP,
429).
Blessings,
Anne
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