As I was jotting down ideas for this Net
Cover focusing on our recent parish retreat, (40 of us at Chanco on the James
from Sept 13-15!) I was caught off guard by flashes of memories of myself as a
child, attending parish retreats with my own church family. I grew up in South
Carolina, so most of those people I no longer see, and I certainly have not set
foot at Camp Gravatt since about 1995. But the experiences I had there with my
childhood church have undoubtedly shaped me into the person I am today.
The first strike of deja vu came when we
pulled up to our room at Chanco. My children have been to Chanco several times
so they immediately jumped out of the car to survey the grounds and confirm
that everything was as they left it, just
like my friends and I did when we rolled up to our retreat center on Friday
evening. I remember the sense of safety and empowerment that came from
being able to traverse a place without adults knowing my every move. Whereas
“home” in our everyday lives is defined by the property lines, at a retreat
center, “home” is a state of mind. “Home” is with fellow parishioners who
become extended family; “home” is the retreat center itself, which is owned by
all of us and none of us at the same time. As the other children on the St.
Andrew’s retreat became familiar with the grounds, they too, delighted in the
freedom to move from place to place without fear of getting lost, needing to
call ahead, or wait for adult supervision.
Another special moment I’m stealing from
a conversation with Joe Allen the Monday after the retreat. In the dining hall
the retreat leaders displayed sign-up sheets where you could volunteer to lead
an activity during free time. Joe’s favorite retreat moment was watching the
children joyfully rush forward: Edward volunteered to lead a hike at 3:30.
Madeline and Rachel scheduled time to collect seashells. Ralph started a
poetry-writing group at 4:30. Shiloh and Abigail signed up to be worship
leaders at Eucharist. Children saw
themselves as leaders, not just participants, in the retreat. They felt safe to
take creative risks and be themselves without hesitation.
One last memory. If you’re familiar with
Compline, you’ll know that the words, “Guide waking, O Lord, and guard us
sleeping…” are sprinkled throughout the liturgy. When I heard these words
Saturday night at Chanco I had a flashback to myself as a child, half-asleep in
my dad’s lap, in the twilight after a long day with our church family. In the
meals we shared at Chanco, in the nightly compline, there was a structure and a
rhythm to life but without the rush. As a child I felt a sense of true peace
knowing that, at least for those precious 36 hours, I was surrounded by people
who were completely in the moment with me. I’m so grateful that the children on
our Chanco retreat were given that gift of presence, too, which is so precious
yet so rare.
God is always calling us to let go of the
barriers that separate us from truly knowing one another. On a parish retreat,
we arrive as individuals and family units, but leave feeling like we are part
of an extended family. We arrive feeling stressed but settle into a routine
where busy-ness and productivity are no longer the measure of our worth. We
arrive as adults or children, and watch in wonder as the adults become more
child-like and the children take on adult roles with joy and confidence.
In other words, on a parish retreat we
get a small taste of what it’s like to live in God’s kingdom. It is God’s
constant call to us to build God’s kingdom on earth, brick by brick. Going on
retreat reminds us how real God truly is. Once you’ve experienced it, it’s hard
not to share it with others. So…
Chanco 2025, here we come!
- Ginny Chilton
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