The importance of a positive word

 Dear friends,

 
When I taught fifth- and sixth-graders, I developed an exercise that we used periodically when classroom relations weren’t going well.  Each of us, me included, would write one positive sentence about each other person in the classroom.  The sentence would begin with “I like;” “I respect;” or “I admire”:  

• I like the way Sam lets other people share the soccer equipment. 
• I respect the way Sam is always on time. 
• I admire Sam’s ability to draw caricatures. 

The point was that a person didn’t have to like Sam to be able to come up with a genuine and positive statement.  (A true confession:  I didn’t always like all of my students, but with God’s help I could always find something truly positive to celebrate about each of them.)
 
In a recent sermon, I mentioned my dear friend Ted Bailey, who died four years ago at the age of 97.  Ted was a retired Episcopal priest who attended St. George’s, Newport News during my time there as rector.  Ted had served as an interim priest at St. George’s some years prior to my arrival.  He adored the congregation so much that he chose St. George’s as his home parish when he finally retired.
 
Sometimes it can be difficult for a rector to have retired clergy in a congregation, especially when the retired person once served the same parish.  It is understandably tempting for the former leader of a congregation to share abundant suggestions about how best to minister to that flock.  Not infrequently, former clergy also share criticism—comments that are usually couched as helpful input for the new rector (but often don’t feel that way).
 
Ted Bailey never did that.  Part of his ministry with every person he encountered was the gift of encouragement.  He ministered to me every time he attended worship at St. George’s. 
 
After each service, Ted made a point of sharing a specific, positive comment about the day’s worship or forum:  praise for a line in my sermon that particularly struck him; appreciation for the care I put into planning the morning’s adult forum; gratitude for the way I’d spoken some part of the liturgy.  Every time Ted spoke with me, he blessed me with positive words that nurtured my soul.  My sense is that every time Ted Bailey interacted with someone, he saw it as a God-given opportunity for him to offer love and encouragement. 
 
What if I were more like Ted?  What if we all were?  What would it be like to come to St. Andrew’s and find it a place where our comments to one another were consistently words of praise and gratitude and thanks?  I’m not talking about insincere flattery, but about genuinely positive words chosen to build each other up, to help each person feel seen and appreciated.
 
Let’s try it.  And let’s thank God for giving us such precious opportunities!
 
Blessings.  -Anne