The Five Adults

Every child needs at least five adults that really care about them. Just five. Five adults that know them, speak to them, root for them and care about them.

Perhaps this is wisdom you’ve already heard. I first heard it from my mother, who is a retired Christian Educator. I came across it again in seminary, and there’s a whole page of relevant links if you Google simply, “Five Adults.”

In a society where people move frequently and parents are raising children without the help of extended family, most American children now grow up with only one or two, or sometimes no adults who truly champion them. Faith communities now play a more important role than ever in the lives of children. One of the hidden strengths of a multi-generational church like St. Andrew’s is that children here are greeted by adults who care about them and inquire about them every week, and who do so out of genuine interest and love.

I see it every week in the way our acolytes are praised by name, and how relationships are forming between them and the adult worship leaders who gather before church starts. I see it in children’s church, where our teachers share their own faith journey, take every question seriously, and laugh with them when they crack jokes. I see it when clergy and parishioners show up to school plays and dance recitals, and remember to ask about that tough test at school.

We may not realize it, but through these seemingly small interactions, together we are strengthening each child’s sense of safety, their self worth, and their sense of belonging. This sense of wholeness and of simply being seen is exactly who Jesus was for the children in his own community (in fact, for everyone he met!).  Let us not underestimate the power we each have to influence a child’s life, both here at church and in our wider community.

I am saying a prayer of thanksgiving right now that my own children have those five (and more!) adults, because of the good people at St. Andrew’s. Thank you! I can’t wait to see how all our children blossom over the years in this place of love.

—Ginny Chilton